Dear you,
A promise has to be kept, especially if it was to you.
Last night I made you a promise to tell you about an insane idea in my head, and here I am.
I believe that the safest way for us to live is to actually conquer our minds with the craziest and most insane ideas ever, even if they were just abstract ideas that would never make it to reality, and that would only stay there for a little while to be replaced then by another crazier thought.
So, I'll tell you about the most recent insane idea I had in mind. I dream of lucid dreaming and derealisation, because the former lets me believe I have taken control over my world, and the latter makes me lose control over the world. However, what they both have in common is liberation; they're both liberating feelings, whether associated with feelings of power or feelings of powerlessness and surrealism. I think of derealising inside a lucid dream, and staying there for some time, willingly and voluntarily, so I can wake up when the time is right, and get a glimpse of surrealism just before I come back to reality.
I dream of taking control and losing control at the same exact moment until it deems me numb, until I can no longer feel which is a dream and which is reality, because, after all, that is how I feel every single day anyway.
And sometimes I dream of undreaming, I daydream of undreaming, of that vacuum in my brain when my whole body is semi-dead, so that, for only once, I can really know how it feels to be as close to death as possible. So that, in life, I have experienced death, or an NDE - near death experience.
A promise has to be kept, especially if it was to you.
Last night I made you a promise to tell you about an insane idea in my head, and here I am.
I believe that the safest way for us to live is to actually conquer our minds with the craziest and most insane ideas ever, even if they were just abstract ideas that would never make it to reality, and that would only stay there for a little while to be replaced then by another crazier thought.
So, I'll tell you about the most recent insane idea I had in mind. I dream of lucid dreaming and derealisation, because the former lets me believe I have taken control over my world, and the latter makes me lose control over the world. However, what they both have in common is liberation; they're both liberating feelings, whether associated with feelings of power or feelings of powerlessness and surrealism. I think of derealising inside a lucid dream, and staying there for some time, willingly and voluntarily, so I can wake up when the time is right, and get a glimpse of surrealism just before I come back to reality.
I dream of taking control and losing control at the same exact moment until it deems me numb, until I can no longer feel which is a dream and which is reality, because, after all, that is how I feel every single day anyway.
And sometimes I dream of undreaming, I daydream of undreaming, of that vacuum in my brain when my whole body is semi-dead, so that, for only once, I can really know how it feels to be as close to death as possible. So that, in life, I have experienced death, or an NDE - near death experience.
And then when all these insane ideas go to their own demise, I dream of you, an ordinary yet insanely extraordinary thought in my head, and imagine you exist in this world, in my real world, where I'd be talking to you, telling you all these stories and examining how your eyes look at me, how crazy they see me. But once again, if it wasn't for my insanity and imagination you would've been a totally different person in a totally different place now, wouldn't you?
I love you, is an extraordinarily insane idea in an insanely ordinary world. And that's the last bit of insanity in me for the night.
Yours faithfully and sincerely,
N.
No comments:
Post a Comment