I have been escaping reality and hard work way too much than normal recently, not to mention the letters I write you, which are also a coping mechanism through escape, or the other way round, not sure really.
I have been better, in terms of dealing with pain or accepting it. It just feels like I am no longer accepting it in the first place. I don't cry; I only dossociate from reality, or detach, willingly and voluntarily. I realise it's not the right thing to do when faced with too many realities, but it's just too much.
However, let me mention something a bit normal tonight for a change of tone; I had a good day today. There is this slight feeling that I want to read again like before, or that I at least want to take my mind off life using a sane and wise method or hobby. And I really need to stop making my hand injury an excuse for all this laziness, right? Oh, by the way, did I even tell you before about the injury? If I didn't then I am sorry; sometimes you just seem to be an inseparable part of my life or that you live inside of me, that way I don't have to tell you about everything per se, because you're already part of it.
But remember; I still wait for you. I am still waiting for you and I have faith in you more than anyone in this world. And no matter how much it takes or how many years it will take me to finally find you, or for you to find me, I will be ready to be head over heels for you, because, after all, why am I writing all of this?
Yours faithfully and sincerely,
N.
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